roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize