Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
