So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
