There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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