You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
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