dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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