Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
