guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
