Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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