is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
