she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize