best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
