Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize