Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
