mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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