what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
