none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
