I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
