Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
