real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
