why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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