If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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