Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
