I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
bring money and cleavage
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize