If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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