I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
