Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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