You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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