I think i peed on brittanys purse
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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