two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
