So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
as a side note pls kill me
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
