His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize