It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
