no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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