You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
