Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
