so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
