Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
