jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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