After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
