its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
