I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
