I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
