i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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