I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
