I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
