i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize