Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
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