Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
