What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize