I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
