I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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