girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
