He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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