Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
