We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
