halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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