Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
