North Korea, Best Korea!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
