It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
