I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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