I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
