wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
