dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
