But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize