My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize