I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize