you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize