false alarm. still invincible.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
