yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
